i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
