Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
