: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
she told me i tasted like america
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
