I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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