I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize