Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
