Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize