i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
