Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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