i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
is wine microwaveable?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize