we have officially lost it.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
