I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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