The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm having to shit out rocks
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
