i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
