Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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