We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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