I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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