just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He passed out mid-signature
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
