Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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