Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I need help removing her.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
