Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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