get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
