i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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