I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
