is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
God, I missed his penis.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
