i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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