My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
