And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
