everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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