Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
