Who did Billy Mays play for?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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