your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We have started to decorate penises.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
