i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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