You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
