Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Still dying that you shit outside
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
