Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
