i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
