when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
