you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I touched a dick in church today
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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