Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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