I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
