I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
