he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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