she was so not down for the gang bang
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
