I want to stick my p in your. b.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
