pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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