Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
