I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My feet surprised me
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