508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize