Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
