there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
