do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I smell like Dick and happiness
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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