Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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