I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
love makes seman taste better
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
