Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
