he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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