you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
