the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
