Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
