We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
