Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
