ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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